one of those days

ever since school started last week,
i sort of haven't had much time to post or say anything here.
or more so haven't had the motivation to record
what's been happening of late.
it's mentally draining to be honest.
i write my thoughts about a lot of things that seemed wise
at the moment only to strip it down a couple of minutes later,
filter words that aren't supposed to be shared online,
and then end up deleting the whole thing.
i rewrite yet again, or think about something new to share
until it feels just right.

do you ever have one of those days where

you just want to make everything perfect around you?

sometimes i feel very tired and wish i had leisure time to do
what my mind and body aches for
without reminding myself every now and then
those "to do list" stuck in my head.

anyway,
i should be sleeping at this time.

it's past 2am and i am stubbornly wide awake.
i haven't been sleeping enough. it's not new here that it has been a problem for me.
i would love to catch up and read all my favorite blog updates
but i really have to sign off right now.
i should be up as early as 5am today to do mommy duties.
i promise, i will find time to post tomorrow.
i like something pretty to look at too you know.
it's just that sometimes i can be very picky and it usually takes a lot of time
to decide what feels good to share.
that's me, very selective, choosy, picky, undecided, name it.

so goodnight! this is all for now.