Holiday Reunions

oh oh i want some more

 

this song has been on my mind since christmas!

Happy Christmas Everyone!

so cute

one of my fondest childhood memories was sleeping beside my puppy sheila.
whenever there are new puppies at home i would always get the shy one 
from the bunch of newborn pups before my mom gets rid of them.
i bring her to my bed.
i love the smell of their puppy breath,
the feel of their cute little bodies and their tiny waggly tails.
of course, since i let them sleep beside me they pee on my bed too.
ye i know it's gross!
 that's why my mom hates having puppies inside our house
because they poop and pee everywhere. 
 but how can you resist that puppy look?
they are so cute!

♥ her style

i am an of Alexis Bleidel ever since i saw her on  Gilmore Girls (2000)

she  portrayed the role of this sweet, fast-talking, sarcastically witty teenager

that made the show popular.

she is stunningly beautiful and has the most amazing gorgeous blue eyes i have ever seen.

I think she would have made a perfect "Bella" for the Twilight series, 

perhaps more convincing than Kristen Stewart.

and i love that she has a great taste for fashion too. 

have you ever felt this way...

it's hard to put into words, but i guess 

it's like i was fast asleep, 
and someone came, disassembled me, 
and hurriedly put me back together again. 

 that sort of feeling.

Haruki Murakami

live to

truth be told

my work does not require me to be in the office every day but on workdays I stay up all night. otherwise, I don't wake up early like typical moms do. I am not a morning person. I sleep very late. I go to bed at around 2-3am and I have been sleeping at this time for the past few years, and many times it was even later than that. that's why mornings are a struggle that even coffee can't cure. I know it's really bad and I have to shake myself out of this habit. I am not sure what it is. maybe because I want too much out of my life and I want to do so many things but the laziness creeps up on me when I am frustrated and mad about something. I think I lost myself somewhere along the road and haven't really found my way back.

on a positive note, I think of myself as a multi-tasker. when I start doing things - mommy things (e.g. laundry, sorting, cleaning the room, cooking, dishes, groceries) I do it all at the same time because I want to get things done right away so I could finally do what I really want to do (e.g. reading, watching movies, and blogging). I admit I can be really lazy that I annoy people in the house. I have my reasons and most of them are truly valid reasons why I can't do things as expected of me. but despite the lazy attitude, I get things done and fast. that's who I am. I am selective of what I do, what I want, and can really be stubborn only because things are not easy for me. people I deal with every day are not easy.  the day to day stuff can either go really bad or turn out really good.

i knoow, i know better. no excuses for laziness. however, some people tend to be so overly judgemental about everything because it's just who they are. some are not as open-minded as you expect them to be. they judge, rant, nag, gossip and forget that people they talk about are in need of help and understanding. they make a bigger fuss about most things. I am so not like them. I am calmer and quieter, but I also have had some enraged moments that I am not proud of. I am not perfect and no one is. unfortunate things just happen around me and I try as best as I can to be mature about certain things in my life that I have no control of. maybe for others, they are what they are because of what goes on with their lives and I respect that, that's why I don't talk shit about them and their stuff especially behind their back. I understand that people make bad choices, good choices, simple choices and they shouldn't be judged based on their actions alone. we all have our reasons.

there is always hope. and I believe in hope. holding on to HOPE make things all better. I am just really thankful despite all the drama that's going on in my life, our girls are doing their part to make life easy for our family. I suppose being who they are now is a result of good parenting. yeah, yeah, some people may roll their eyes while reading this, but I think I did a pretty good job raising my kids. 

p.s. oh but I do wake up early on weekdays to prepare cheska for school.  

I confess

"some days I am young and stupid 

while other days  I am old and wise. 

on my worst days I am old and stupid 

and everyday i wish to be 

young and wise."

I don't measure life by youth. 

the only way you can understand things

is through contrast. 

-you've got to have youth to have age

-give me sadness so i can have happiness

-let me fail so i can succeed.

as we learn and experience things,

our truth change many times.

a few things i want

or wish i have.

a large bed space so i can have

a little fun with our room sometimes

   i want this hat!   

i think i found something like it in surplus.

and, i also have been wanting
to cut my hair really short 

for like forever... i just need to lose some weight first.

i am buying this book.

but i have a few things to pay first before 

i buy a little something for myself.

i plan to put up an inspiration board in our room.

this will really be so fun to do with the girls.

i would like to re-paint an old dresser
if only my mom will allow me to have hers and paint it red.

i've felt annoyed and negative about everything lately. 

mostly about this certain person and stuff that this person do.

and it helps to be in my wonderland sometimes
where i can be happy about something to turn my mood around.
 this is what i came up with- a few of things that inspired me today.

if you must know

Music and Me

Music has always been a big part of my life. When I was younger I was surrounded by music and music lovers - my brothers, my cousins, and the person who influenced me the most, my dad. Those who know me know that my dad was a wonderful singer and I inherited a little bit of that talent. I grew up listening to 1950s and '60s music. My dad would listen so loudly and repeatedly all throughout the day to Frank Sinatra, Perry Como, and Dean Martin and I would get so embarrassed because my neighbors could hear them. In the '80s, my cousins and brothers were my biggest influence. They were into pop and jazz and I grew up listening to their music too but I don't know why I didn't like it as much or felt excited listening to these genres. I chose to listen to New Wave and appreciated the sound in a much more profound way. This was also the time where I started to practice a lot of singing- mostly in the bathroom just like my dad. My type of music geared towards Alternative Rock during the '90s. The only radio station specifically played this genre was NU107. I listened to The Smiths, New Order, Siouxie, and the Banshees, Morrissey, Gene Loves Jezebel, The Cranberries, Stone Temple Pilots, etc.. My brothers didn't like hearing much of it. Maybe hated it even. Although my taste for music was different, I still adored listening to all sorts. I sang a lot growing up. I went to sleep with the radio on, awoke still with the radio on. Not a day passed without music in my head literally because I had a radio cassette player placed above my head in my bed.

After college my love for music took a hiatus because my life changed. I became a mom. A very young mother. The whole obsession for loud music became difficult to do. I no longer had the time to sing as much as I want to. My favorite music seemed to slip away from me. The only songs I sang over and over were baby songs and humming sounds I invented in my head. I'm not saying I lost my love for music because of motherhood, it was always there but I wasn't embracing it as much as I had in the past. I realized too that childbirth can change your voice because mine got deeper - like two musical notes down, and it got so frustrating and sad because I can't sing higher notes anymore. And then suddenly I just stopped singing. I stopped trying. But it didn't stop me from listening and appreciating the evolution of music. 

And now as I think back and reminisce about the good old days and all the men in my life who contributed to my love for music and singing, I realized that music can love you back. When you hear that certain song you liked so much, it can take you away and bring you back to that special place where you felt that special feeling forever etched in your heart. Melody and Rythm can uplift your spirits. A song can comfort you at your darkest moments. Lyrics can express what you cannot say to someone. Music brings people together. I married someone who loves to sing too and I envy his ability to sing high-pitched songs. It also goes without saying, I am blessed with talented girls who each have the heart for music. It's a whole new generation for me once again and I am absolutely loving music all over again. 

cool outfits. 

from me to you

the awesome thing about having a blog is that you can do whatever you want with it even though your life isn't exactly as exciting as others. and by "others" i mean, these people who have great writing skills, a true journalist. i am not one of them. blogging for me is a creative outlet of my imagination, my scrapbook of things i find interesting. it doesn't have to consist of just people in my life, but it's how i make fun with it to keep me amused. some of the pictures and quotes i post are found treasures and not mine. they keep me inspired and it's a great way to appreciate what's "out there". i am a fan of photography and when i see a real nice work of art i post it. so, if someone says my blog is better than yours because i use and re-post pictures i found on tumblr or other sites, it annoys me a little, hence, this post...

this whole blogging thing is therapeutic. i have always kept a journal of some sort when i was little and i have always loved to collect things. like it or not, it doesn't really matter what you think but i hope this post will inspire you to have fun with your own blog and discover a little more about the blog world and how it can inspire you too rather than criticize. mind your life if you don't appreciate things you see here. go sleep. 

a month to go...

It's November! 

which means Christmas is just around the corner. 

It's been a tough year for most people i know including myself
but the spirit of Christmas is still here especially when you hear
all those christmas songs again.
i love the feeling.

It reminds me so much of my childhood, and my dad, 

and his extremely loud perry como christmas jingles when he's at home
making fruit salad for everyone.
 i used to hate it (the loud music), and now i miss it.

 

Happy Halloween!

trick or treat in trinoma

four adorable witches

 

with our tita michelle

too bad i wasn't there!

                                                       

is this even comfortable?

she sleeps this way and she gets a little angry 
when we try to fix her, so we let her be. 

Good Morning! 

 

yes i'm talking to you

in Love with Love

People keep telling me that I fall in love too easily- that I should protect my heart, that I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve… I fall in love at least 20 times a day. I fall in love with the sky and the sun and the flowers and my children. I fall in love with smiles, with music on the radio and with french fries and Dr. Pepper. I fall in love with the sound of laughter, blue jeans, accents… Sometimes I fall in love with complete strangers, especially the ones holding hands and kissing in public. The ones who aren’t afraid to be in love with the idea of being in love either. I don’t mind the pain of unrequited love so much, because I think they’re wrong. Love looks good on me

 ♥ Natalie Anne Erlanson ♥

Inspiration List

I decided to make a list (to organize my thoughts) 

of  things i want to post as a photoblog on tumblr and blogger. 

Here they are: 
Inspired by Vintage

Recent Reads
Inspiration Wall

Black and White

Pearls

Pretty in Pink

Rainy days
Collection of Mugs (i have a fetish for mugs)

Music & Lyrics
Favorite Quotes & Poems 

Interior Designs: white inspired , teal inspired, minimalist, shabby looks, bedroom
What i want to wear
Teen fashion 
My love for shoes: boots, wedges, heels 
Abstract Arts: Paintings, Wall Frames 
My favorite rockstars & actors

Cutest baby pictures
Tinnie Tiny Flickr Inspired
My sketches

Kitchen & Cooking

Favorite Food

Strawberries & Cakes

etc...

Pretty in Pink!

Happy Monday!

The Invitation

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me

what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk

looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic 

to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure

yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire

with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep

in the empty moments.

~ oriah mountain dreamer ~

i  l o v e  this  p o e m  so much.

 

Shoot.

i couldn't ask for a perfect weather, 

a home cooked spaghetti

and a dvd movie to watch with alyssa and naomi! 

oh crap.
i have tons of laundry to do 

and a seven year old to teach for final exams!

Alyssa

here are a few of alyssa's profile picture for facebook
that i edited using picnik

hope she liked it!

I'm only happy when it rains

yes, i am happy with the weather lately. 

it's been raining for two days and i'm hoping it would last, 

at least just for the coming weekend! 

 please dear sun have a vacation 

and stay away for a while.

Frustrated

My blog is still a work in progress.
I have been checking out other blogs and designs and learning.
and sometimes it gets frustrating that I don't know
how to make or even understand a CSS or Html code.

I guess I'll just have to be more patient
and figure it all out on my own.