i have been posting a lot of quotes and photos from the internet lately and i haven't really blogged about what's going on with me, except when there are occasions like birthdays and stuff. nothing really much to say. i guess i am hesitant to open up because there are a few people who knows about this blog and i may say things that are inappropriate and hurt their feelings because i have a tendency to over analyze things. most often than not, when you're upset it's hard to know that you are being irrational when you cannot control it. so, am keeping it simple.
mostly, i would post outer inspirations that help me express what i really feel, what i was going through at that time which i couldn't express it in words. i don't know how i could have explained it better or eloquently. for obvious reasons, i have grammar flaws. and these are not common flaws, these are basic grammar flaws which i am aware, and it does bother me sometimes because i love sharing about random things. but anyhoo, my prepositions and whatnot problem didn't stop me from going public with this blog.
what i wish for, is to be able to write about something good, and happy. my current state is not so good. so how do i share a little bit of what i wish for? hmmm. that's a problem. so you see, i haven't had a productive thoughts in days or even weeks. instead i have locked myself, lingered on possibilities, wanting new things ( new bedsheets, new rug, new bag, new dresses, new jeans, skirts, a camera, new lipstick, a necklace and all expensive, and fancy things and the list goes on). i am always living in my head. dreaming. (i would like to tell the world that i am a hot mess and not ashamed. i should be damn grateful about it.)
i need this reminder. i need to tell me that my life is beautiful.
if i want to change it, then what's stopping me?